Just calling you Momsie..

Yesterday a wave of loss rolled over me. Out of the blue. In the library. I was taking random photos of Ridhaan. I would have sent them to you straightaway.. just to share how silly he is. I know you would have smiled. Your beautiful child-like smile.

You know what I miss Momsie? Just calling you ..Saying "Ammi", and having you respond to me. Mostly what I want to do is apologise to you. For the time I didnt buy those hand creams you liked. For the times I didnt call you on weekends while I was out with friends. For the many times I was rough in speaking to you, and unaware and inconsiderate. I wish I had spent more time really talking to you, pampering you.... instead of leaving you in the kitchen to make good things for me.

Mom.. I miss you so! I am an adult. A grown woman fully capable of handling myself. I am busy everyday... yet not a day passes when I do not think about you. Mom i miss you so! I wish we could have some short time together momsie. Just you. your warm embrace. and your unique smile showing warmth to me. I wish we could go window shopping, maybe some real shopping. I wish I could put my head in your lap and feel the love.

I wish you are at peace & happy wherever you are Momsie. Keep smiling always Momsie. And dont worry. I will take care of Raghib always.